March 25, 2008
· Filed under Music of my life, Random thoughts
I like the sound of it. This is from the song EVERAFTER. Am I a real messy beautiful twisted sunshine? hehehe 
I’d like to think so and for reasons stated below. Again, this is me not making sense.. must be from the scorching heat of the sun earlier..
I mean, I am real. I don’t like to be with plastic people and I don’t want to be all pretentious with them, as if we’re all chummy chummy and friends. I’d rather not to talk to you if I don’t have anything nice to say. Period.
Messy. Hhhmmm… that got me thinking. I’m not messy. I admit I can be very OC with my things. I would know if somebody moved the picture frame in my office desk. Or somebody used my phone etc… And when I was in highschool, if I get pissed off, instead of sulking, I rant at everything that I see especially if things are not arranged and while complaining and whining I am cleaning up the mess, my mess or other people’s mess. After which I feel good seeing that things are now arranged and neat. Ha! And during classes, I’d hate it if I arrive in the training room and then the trainer’s desk is a mess!
Beautiful? Nah… I am not. It just happens that I have a different definition of what is beautiful. And I don’t fit in the description hehehe If somebody would give a comment on how I look, I really don’t know how to react. Sometimes I feel that that person is actually making fun of me hahaha Absurd idea. I know. Again, I don’t know how to react. I would sometimes end up timidly and sheepishly saying “thank you”. Next please…
Twisted. I am twisted and I am weird in my own way. If sudden mood changes and mood swings would count then yes, I am twisted. But not that twisted that I would make up twisted stories to make other people look bad unlike this particular person I know. Which reminds me, I saw that particular person 5 minutes ago and I wasn’t happy. And to think she is my batchmate’s agent. Everytime I see her, it just reminds me of what happened before: her spreading stories. As if we’re friends. Pardon me, but we’re not. I wouldn’t want to.
Sunshine. Yes, I am happy and I think I radiate that happiness that I feel. I just couldn’t stop smiling. There are a lot of reasons to smile about. And I am in love. (wui….)
That’s it… i still am not making any sense… heheh
March 25, 2008
· Filed under Life is a feast
I’m happy today! Yesterday, too.
And last weekend as well. :)
March 19, 2008
· Filed under Not today..
Because I don’t understand any of this! If you want to say something, blurt it out. I wasn’t born with a God given skill/talent to read other people’s mind. Your mind.
March 18, 2008
· Filed under Not today.., Random thoughts
March 15, 2008
· Filed under Random thoughts
Is it really possible for one to be happy and carefree and suddenly feel a major shift in the mood the next minute? I’d say yes. And I notice it a lot. Happening to me. Yes me. Like tonight. At around 9PM Ellice and I were having dinner and we were enjoying talking, catching up since we were able to go out like we used to every weekend. Then we went back to the office since we suddenly (oops!) remembered that we were supposed to have team meeting at 9PM. When we arrived, good thing my lead SMSd me that he moved the meeting to 10PM (relieved). And then the major change in the mood, all too sudden. I was just there at my station, listening to them talk and laugh, and just staring into space. I don’t feel like talking to anybody and retreat to my own shell and for everybody to leave me alone. But no, I wasn’t lashing out to anyone who wants to talk to me. I do respond but not the usual me. Even Mommy Chila noticed it, that I was a bit grumpy, not smiling at all. Not the usual me. Period. And I can’t even explain it. I texted somebody however I think that person is enroute to slumberland already so nobody to talk to. So to prevent any brewing verbal joust, I just kept quiet and remained in my station pretending to be deep thought. i think I was since I’m trying to figure out what the hell is happening to me. Whatha?! Is this even normal? I’m considering the thought of reading self-help psychological books hehehe yeah nice one, gotta take a mental note if I’m gonna visit the bookstore ng bayan: National Book Store.
I need to take a walk… Not around IT Park, sheesh! Who knows what will happen to me if I do that alone. I’ll be robbed and stripped off my personal belongings hahah but yeah, not around IT Park.
bye…
March 12, 2008
· Filed under Life is a feast, Music of my life
Ok, radio is on and I’m feeling all nostalgic and melodramatic because of the songs being played. More so when this particular song was played. Gosh, one of my favorites and listening to this song, brings back good and happy memories.. yeah videoke material.. so what?heheh
Don’t Know What To Do
I have loved you only in my mind
But I know that there will come a time
To feel this feeling I have inside
You’re a hopeless romantic is what they say
Falling in and out of love just like a play
Memorizing each line, I still don’t know what to say
What to say…
Don’t know what to do whenever you are near
Don’t know what to say, my heart is floating in tears
When you pass by I could fly
Ev’ry minute, ev’ry second of the day
I dream of you in the most special way
You’re beside me all the time
All the time…
I have loved you and I always will
Call it crazy but I know someday you’ll feel
This feeling I have for you inside
I’m a hopeless romantic I know I am
Memorized all the lines and here I am
Struggling for words I still don’t know what to say
What to say…
Don’t know what to do whenever you are near
Don’t know what to say, my heart is floating in tears
When you pass by I could fly
Ev’ry minute, ev’ry second of the day
I dream of you in the most special way
You’re beside me all the time
All the time… all the time… all the time…
hmmm… and I’m feeling all giddy and happy hehe!
March 12, 2008
· Filed under Just another day.., Random thoughts
… I wanted to ask. I just don’t know when is the perfect time to ask you this. Maybe someday… I just don’t have the definite time, date or if this is even possible. I hope if that time comes that will be one of those conversations that we’ll both remember forever. No pretentions, no cover ups and no lies. Not afraid to “strip” and let the other person see the real “you”; not scared to let go and share our life to that person (or even let that person get a glimpse of who we are). No single grain of doubt in mind that one will give judgement based on what one has done in the past: our actions – or inactions – our decisions or lack thereof or our being naive and childish.
If ever I’d be honored to have that conversation with you, someday, I’ll be at my happiest.
Thank you.
(March 12 ‘08 || 3:01 AM || my room)
March 7, 2008
· Filed under Life is a feast, Random thoughts
Usually I hate going out when it’s raining. I’d rather stay at home, in the comfort of my own room, surrounded by my pillows and blankets and listen to the sound of raindrops outside. But not today. Today, I welcome the rain as a sign of new a beginning, of moving forward and of appreciating what I still have. It’s a nice thought that you still have something or a lot of things to look forward to and that life really has something to offer you despite the times when you think nothing is working out.
I didn’t get enough sleep yesterday (I slept at 10a, woke up at 130p) and last night but I’m not grumpy today. I AM HAPPY. And I plan to stay this way. I’ve never been this sure in my entire life. You know that feeling when you really want something, that you’re gonna do anything you can to attain it or keep it?
I’m praying that this is it.
Yes, this is it.
